The popularity of Thailand has prompted many queries on how to retire in Thailand and these questions are not only being asked by traditional retirees of the older generations but also from much younger people both attached and single.

Learn How to Retire In Thailand for Just $550 Per Month Here

As one of the former, I made the decision to retire in Thailand some years ago and have never regreted the decision to do so. However, there were several important issues to address before making the decision to live in Thailand on a permanent basis, not the least of which was medical considerations.

As mentioned, I’m one of the older groups known as baby boomers and as such have to be practical in the assumption that as I age there is every probability that I will be needing more medical attention, not the least of which will be dental treatment. Many baby boomers have made the decision to retire in Thailand.

Dental work part of Retire in Thailand plan

As a prelude to my decision to retire in Thailand, on one of my frequent trips I found it necessary to have some dental work carried out, a move which I’d been putting off for over a year because of the price I’d been quoted in my home country of Australia where I’d been advised it would cost around 3 thousand Australian dollars to have 2 molars capped.

Needless to say I was astounded when quoted 10,000 Thai Baht (around $300 aud) for the same work to be carried out. As a result I didn’t bother to wait to retire to Thailand before having the work carried out over a period of only 3 days from the initial visit to the dentist.

While there are special Thailand Dental Holidays available online for which you can view a guide HERE , from a personal perspective and having known several friends who made recomendations, I went for the dental clinic across the street who carried out a terrific job while being flanked by the 2 loveliest dental nurses I’d ever seen who made me forget all about the drill or the injections simply by smiling.

However, dental packages are not the only reason for considering the option to retire in Thailand although with similar prices associated with other medical expences in Thailand, it is a worthwhile consideration.

Retire in Thailand for $550 per Month Guide

The overall living expences in Thailand are also much cheaper than those we of the west are accustomed to and the ability to retire in Thailand on a budget of around $550 per month makes it an added attraction.

Get the Retire in Thailand for $550 per month here

Of course there are many other benefits associated with living in Thailand not the least of which are the Thai people themselves who are exceptionally friendly and helpful.

Thai women are acclaimed by many as the most beautiful on the planet and although I may be a little biast, it was the a Thai woman who pushed me over the edge in making my decision to retire to Thailand.

In talking to many of the expats I come across in the various bars I frequent, I’m surprised how many are looking for a successful hyperhidrosis treatment which doesn’t involve prescription medicine or drugs.

Hyperhidrosis or excessive sweating is a common condition experienced by expats and short time visitors due to their origins which usually include European or western countries which have a far cooler clime than that of Thailand and a hyperhidrosis treatment is often sought but rarely found. Of course there are many who suffer from the condition in their home country as well and the hyperhidrosis treatment is the same for all.

The sudden change from a cooler climate to a more tropical one often brings on conditions never before experienced and although they may prove to be temporary, they can often not only be unpleasant but also embarrassing such as excessive sweating which can lead to the need for an easy and quick hyperhidrosis treatment

In searching for an easy to use guide not involving doctors etc. I was able to uncover several excellent eBooks on the subject which provide such a treatment which I’ve listed below.

Hyperhidrosis Treatment eBooks

• How to prevent sweating eBook (click here)
• Sweat Fix (click here)
• Sweat Free Formula. (click here)
• Stop Your Sweating (click here)
• Head ‘n Facial Sweating Begone. (Click here)

While the above books all provide an excellent hyperhidrosis treatment
, the methods are all different and arte designed for people  with varying degrees of the ailment and some require a little more effort than others.

I’ve included a brief description below of the condition which may be helpful but a more in-depth description can be found here.

“Hyperhidrosis is a medical condition in which a person sweats excessively and unpredictably. People with hyperhidrosis may sweat even when the temperature is cool or when they are at rest.

Causes, Incidence, and Risk Factors

Sweating helps the body stay cool. In most cases, it is perfectly natural. People sweat more in warm temperatures, when they exercise, or in response to situations that make them nervous, angry, embarrassed, or afraid.

However, excessive sweating occurs without such triggers. Those seeking a hyperhidrosis treatment appear to have overactive sweat glands. The uncontrollable sweating can lead to significant discomfort, both physical and emotional.

When excessive sweating affects the hands, feet and armpits, it’s called primary or focal hyperhidrosis. Primary hyperhidrosis affects 2 – 3% of the population, yet less than 40% of patients with this condition seek medical advice or try to find any sort of hyperhidrosis treatment. In the majority of primary hyperhidrosis cases, no cause can be found. It seems to run in families”

Hyperhidrosis Treatment Conclusion

While in most cases it’s not a completely debilitating condition, excessive sweating can be more serious in some that in others and a good hyperhidrosis treatment will have varying effects on different people.

All of the hyperhidrosis treatment books above come with an unconditional 60 day money back guarantee for your protection.

The common condition of Hyperhydrosis or more commonly known as “excessive sweating” is a condition which causes the sufferer to perspire in unusual amounts in everyday conditions even in cooler climates and temperatures. While the condition commonly effects the hands and feet, it can and does effect many people in other parts of the body and particularly under the armpits, around the breasts in women and the groin in men.

Find a natural hyperhydrosis treatment here

Hyperhydrosis often becomes more evident in places like Thailand where tourism is a major industry with people coming from cooler climates such as the USA, Canada, Britain and Europe where the body is accustomed to lower temperatures and quite often, Hyperhydrosis can be triggered in people who have never known the condition before simply through the sudden change in body temperature on arrival. Outbreaks in people from warmer climates such as Australia is less common.

Hyperhydrosis Diagnosis

Hyperhydrosis is usually diagnosed as being caused by an over active sympathetic nervous system which is part of the body’s system which controls blood pressure, and other related cardio vascular functions.
The severity of the condition is determined by the amount of skin area effected and with this method of categorization, excessive sweating in an area more than 100 cm2 in any part of the body is categorized differently from excessive sweating in a localized area. The second method is by determining if the condition was inherited or acquired. Inherited conditions are categorized as primary hyperhidrosis and can be found to show symptoms during adolescence. Conditions that are acquired through pituitary gland disorders –such as hyperthyroidism, or caused by biological changes such as menopause are categorized as secondary hyperhydrosis. Symptoms can appear at any point in life.

Surgical Hyperhydrosis Treatment

Hyperhydrosis Treatments vary from from medication or surgery to diet change and weight loss programs. One of the more common Hyperhydrosis treatments involves the injection of Botox which effectively block the body’s chemical transmitters to the effected region and is where the injections are targeted like the armpit regions.
Antiperspirants containing various drying medications such as drysol containing aluminum hydrochloride are also used as an effective hyperhydrosis treatment.
Surgical hyperhydrosis treatments such as sympathetectomy are usually very successful with almost 75% of people who opted for this treatment reporting complete or near complete success.

the Simple Golf Swing Method.

Every would like to know how to improve golf on their score cards and while there are many elements of the game which can be improved with practice, the most common desire is to improve their golf swing with as little practice as possible.

This new simple how to improve golf swing method is revolutionizing many a Pattaya golfer’s game in as little as 2 weeks and you don’t have to copy Tiger to learn it. We all know that we have have good and bad golf days and in most cases we just don’t understand why we can have a near perfect round on one day and on the next plat like we’ve never picked up a club before but this ebook will not only teach you a new swing method but will also show you how to improve your golf to such a degree that you will be able to reduce your score by as much as seven strokes within the first 2 rounds.

Can’t Wait to learn how to improve golf? Click here now.

Just how much better will you learn how to improve golf?

• You will be hitting the ball further and straighter that you ever been able to in the past
• You increased distance will be coupled with consistent accuracy you never thought possible.
• You’ll be putting the ball on more greens with less strokes and getting it closer to the pin every time.
• This method of learning how to improve golf will be making you wonder what happened to that terrible slice you’ve always had trouble with.
• You’ll develop a whole new outlook on the game which will boost your confidence no end.
• When you learn how to improve golf with the simple gold swing method, that old bogey plus player which used to greet you in the mirror will be gone forever.

How quickly can you learn how to improve golf ?

• The simple golf swing can be learned in as little 3 hours.
• You’ll reduce your score by as much as 7 strokes withing the first 2 rounds and by as much as 10 within a month guaranteed.
• You’ll become the envy of you Golfing pals who’ll be scratching their heads in wonder.
• Your cute little Thai caddy will be the envy of the course with you as her master mastering how to improve golf

Go Here to learn how to improve golf now.

These are no idle claims and our intention is to have you learning how to improve golf and breaking 80 within 60 days or you money back guaranteed.

Read this collage of Pattaya bar girls stories not included in the Money Number One or Fool series of books by Neil Hutchison.

Click on each Pattaya Bar Girls story title to read the full story.

Pattaya bar Girls Story 1)  *One Night in

Bangkok

Pattaya bar Girls Story 2) *Songkran The Water

Fight

Pattaya bar Girls Story 3) *Born To Give Up

Are all Pattaya Bar Girls Fast Learners?

The first indication that pattaya bar girls were learning more quickly came from the removal of the humble buffalo from their sad tales to foreign customers and boyfriends.  According to sources, over the past 12 months not one farang has mentioned in conversation that he has been paying medical expenses for his tee-ruk’s buffalo.

It appears the chronic diseases which used to afflict Pattaya bar girls family buffalos have all been miraculously eradicated.  This is not to say the majestic ox has been totally removed from the Bar Hostess battle plan, because one buffalo-related incident has come to light.  At the request of his charming girlfriend, the guy purchased two of the noble beasts, sight unseen.  One, he named Mabel, he bought for himself as ‘an investment’.  The other, he named Gertrude, was purchased by his Pattaya bar girlfriend using a loan she obtained from him.  Some months passed and he asked his tee-ruk how the animals were faring, adding that he would like to go to her village to check them out.  His lady subsequently became sad as she informed him that, tragically, his buffalo, Mabel, had died.  The good news was that her own buffalo, Gertrude, was doing well.  The poor guy lamented how you can’t beat bad luck!

In the book Money Still Number One, I joked that the perfect Thai girlfriend was ‘an orphan with no friends or living relatives’.  It was hoped readers understood that statement was written in jest.  Apparently not so, because the English proficient Pattaya Bar Girls  strategists have picked up on that one line and taken it literally.  An e-mail source reported visiting a Go Go Bar on a regular basis and, over a prolonged period of time, got to chat with most of the other Pattaya bar girls dancing  staff.  He swears that while going through the usual ‘What’s your name?’, ‘Where you come from?’ antics, he discovered in each case, the lady’s Mama and Papa had both died.

Statistically, the chances of that occurring randomly at the one location are remote, so there are only two possibilities:  Had he stumbled into the only bar girl in Pattaya – perhaps the world – where one line of the selection criteria reads: ‘Before you can start work here, both your parents must be dead’?  Was this Go Go Bar a sort of sheltered workshop for adult female orphans or just another sad Pattaya Bar Girls story?
Buy “Money Number One 2012 Updated Doomsday version” Below.

>Buy “A Fool In Paradise” Below

Buy “The Fool is Back” Below

Buy “A Fools Diary” Below

Pattaya bar Girls Story 4) *One Born Every

Minute

Pattaya bar Girls Story 5)*The Green Eyed

Monster

Pattaya bar Girls Story 6) *Not a Day at The

Beach

*Home To Meet my Pattaya bar girls  Mum

*Life Meant to be

Easy

*Reverse Psychology

*My Harem

*Mind Your Language

*Another One Bites

The Pattaya Dust

*Played Like a

Fiddle

*The Most Important

Meal

*Fools Rush In

*For The Thai

Woman Who Has Everything

*The Pattaya Haircut

 

More Pattaya Bar Girls stories to come.

Required!

Finding a Restless Leg syndrome natural treatment is not something I’d normally not write about on this site. However having suffered from various adult sleep disorders myself including restless leg syndrome and talking to so many people with similar issues in and around Thailand as well as at home, I set out to find cures for many of them and came up with several excellent remedies. While treatments are varied and include many pharmaceutical products, a restless leg syndrome natural treatment

Restless Leg Syndrome Natural Treatment

is often far more effective when considering the definition provided by medical practitioners, as to just what causes this debilitating illness. Go here for the best Restless Leg Syndrome Natural Treatment

What is  Restless Leg Syndrome?

The truth is…no one can accurately determine just what restless leg syndrome is by medical definition and although some present physical conditions may help to worsen the condition, it’s the opinion of medical experts generally, that the condition in many cases is psychological and therefore a restless leg syndrome natural treatmentis the only way in which to alleviate the problem.

Why a Restless Leg Syndrome Natural Treatment?

As mentioned above, while the condition is in most cases nota physical disorder, there are a number of factors which can be attributed to the worsening of the condition and include: Other defined causes of restless leg syndrome include:

• Pregnancy
• Obesity
• Smoking
• Alcohol consumption
• Iron deficiency
• Nerve Disease
• Polyneuropathy (which can be associated with hypothyroidism, heavy metal toxicity, toxins, and many other conditions),
• Excessive caffeine consumption
• Diabetes
• H2-histamine blockers (such as Ranitidine (Zantac) and Cimetidine (Tagamet), and certain antidepressants such as Amitriptyline (Elavil, Endep).

Other Restless Leg Syndrome Natural Treatment Suggestions

Calm and Natural Treatment for Restless Leg Syndrome Product Features Stops Restless and Cramping legs A Proven leg problem Cure Provides Instant Relief Proven to work in Over 75 Countries Worlwide Click Here For More Info

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Keep watching this page for more Restless Leg Syndrome Natural Treatment Methods.

Money Number One

Pattaya Secrets Handbook.

pattaya secrets

Pattaya Secrets forum members are far from being just another bunch of foreign hedonistic males expressing their opinions and frustrations on yet another Pattaya forum and are united in claiming The Money Number One series of books by Aussie expat Neil Hutchison as the almost unrivaled Pattaya Secrets Handbook.

While the series of hilarious books are written tongue in cheek, they are for the most part based on true stories

the author has picked up in his constant research while frequenting the many Pattaya bars including the very popular Pattaya Secrets bar located in Soi 14 just off the infamous Walking Street at the southern end of Beach Road Pattaya.

Watch Pattaya Secrets Bar Interview Below

Beginning with the flagship of the fleet, “Money Number One” which became a best seller almost overnight, the flotilla soon expanded to include the first of The Fool series, “A Fool In Paradise” in which Neil Hutchison offered readers the Pattaya secrets“>Pattaya secrets he himself developed during what he describes as the foolish learning curve he himself negotiated on his arrival in Sin City and subsequent self education.

Pattaya Secrets Handbooks in PDF.

The immediate success of the 2 books prompted Neil to follow up with “The Fool is Back” and “A Fool’s Diary” which in turn also became best sellers and are extremely popular among Pattaya secrets members but few people are aware that the whole series of books are now readily available in PDF format for immediate download to your computer and are also available in German, Swedish, and Norwegian.

With the 5th book in the series,? “Fool’s Gold” soon available, now is the ideal time to uncover the Pattaya secrets revealed in the first books by downloading them to your computer for reading right now.

Just click on the title of your choice below to access using your credit card or PayPal.

Money Number One

A Fool In Paradise

The Fool is Back

A Fools Diary

Alternate language eBooks below

Geld Nummer Eins

Pengar Nummer Ett

Tokstollen Artill Baka

One of the many things the above books will show you about Pattaya secrets, is that there are few secrets in Pattaya.

Pattaya Addicts Claim Money Number One

As the Accepted  Pattaya Bible.

Long before the term Pattaya Addicts was penned, regular visitors to Pattaya were claiming Neil Hutchison’s Money Number One as the recognized and accepted book by which to take heart and guidance when becoming enmeshed in what is now accepted as being one of the thousands who now call themselves Pattaya addicts.

Since the first of books in the series was published way back when…Pattaya has become a thriving metropolis  of Eco-tourism and has evolved into one the most popular holiday destinations on the planet for the single hedonistic male as well as those who’s preferences vary from heterosexual to full homosexuality, bi-sexuality or for those who like to take a walk on the wild side occasionally.

Are Pattaya Addicts really addicted?

Pattaya Addicts, as well as being one of the most popular on line forums relating to Pattaya, has also become a catch cry and justification for many who can’t describe their emotions about Pattaya, as being anything other than addictive.

Neil Hutchison is one such person and his series of humorous books beginning with the ever popular Money Number One, closely followed by “The Fool” series in which the Fool is none other than himself, writes about his own experiences and those of the many travelers and expats alike  he’s met while he’s been living as an expat Aussie himself in Pattaya for around 12 years and is often mentioned on the Pattaya addicts forum.

Pattaya Addicts need to read the Books

Many claim that to be seriously considered a Pattaya addict, one must have read all the books at least three times in order to fully appreciate not only Neil’s expertise through experience, but also his sense of humor, whit and the way in which he’s  able to  bring fits of laughter to those who  have become accustomed to the ways of Thailand and can fully relate to Neil Hutchison’s  stories through their own similar experiences as many others do in the Pattaya addicts forum.

Although every story is unique, they are all true and based on real happenings with each one having  it’s it own abundance of humor often colored by the the realistic hue of a combination of serious and tragic.

Money Number One

A Fool In Paradise

The Fool is Back

A Fool’s Diary

Other Languages Below:

Geld Nummer Eins

Pengar Nummer Ett

Tokstollen Artill Baka

The above books are highly recommended by thousands of Pattaya Addicts worldwide and are ready for immediate download in PDF format for you to read right now by clicking on the link of your choice above.

Foreigners?

Opening a Bangkok Bank account seemed like the logical thing to do around 12 years ago when I first decided that visiting Thailand on a regular basis is what I wanted to do.
In those days, for foreigners opening any bank account in Thailand was simply a matter of filling in the necessary forms at the Bangkok Bank of your choice, submitting a copy of your passport along with a small deposit and you were issued with a bank passbook.

For me, having been only recently introduced to the wonders of Thailand, I thought that the Nana Plaza was the most wonderful place on the planet and could see no reason to venture any further from it than my legs would carry me in any more than a 5 minute stroll. So I set up a Bangkok bank account at the soi 3 branch of the Bangkok Bank which is around 200 meters from Nana Plaza situated at the beginning of soi 4 Sukhumvit.

Pattaya has Bangkok Bank

Branches too.

However it wasn’t long before I discovered that places like Pattaya and Phuket also had similar wonders available and quite often were a lot easier on the pocket and also had branches of all the major Thai banks including the Bangkok Bank.

A few months later having moved my main base to Pattaya after being mugged on one occasion, and drugged on another around the Nana region of Bangkok, I decided to transfer my bank account to the Pattaya branch of the Bangkok Bank but because Pattaya is in a different province, I was informed by bank staff that the option to electronically transfer wasn’t available and that I needed to open another separate account in Pattaya.

Review the Updated and Revised

Money Number One Special 2012 Doomsday Edition

Here

Once again, no problems in doing that, but for the same reason quoted above, I was again told by staff that carrying out a direct branch to branch funds transfer also wasn’t an available option.

At the time, I thought it all a bit strange being accustomed to carrying out simple transactions like this at home with no problems, but having been getting used to the idea of TIT  accepted it all with no more than a little annoyance.

At the time, I had close to a million baht deposited in the Soi 3 Nana branch of the Bangkok Bank which I wanted to deposit into my Pattaya account and since the staff in Bangkok had refused previously to do it electronically, and with my mild annoyance slowly rising to mild anger, I caught a bus once again to Bangkok where I confronted the staff and demanded my money in cash.

Now my forever wise girlfriend of the time couldn’t bear the thought of me being mugged yet again with all that cash on me, particularly with the knowledge that she would be getting at least some of it (if I wasn’t mugged) she in her wisdom, after a quick and hushed conversation with the bank teller, convinced me to take a cashier’s check which I could then deposit directly into my new Bangkok bank account in Pattaya.

Well, that made perfect sense and so as soon as the Pattaya branch of the Bangkok Bank’s doors opened the following morning, I was standing at the back of the inevitable queue that generally snakes around the inside of most Thai banks regardless of the time of day, while armed with my 12 hour old check for around a million Baht and my 4 day old Bangkok Bank Pattaya branch passbook, which I eventually was able to pass to the teller who upon examining them both along with the deposit slip, promptly disappeared into a closed office set outside the parameters of the queues and toward the back of the bank.

On her return a few minutes later, she told me that I would need to pay a transaction fee of around 9000 baht in order to finalize the deposit.

When my query of why returned the same answer I’d received previously relating to being different provinces, the mild anger I’d experienced the day before escalated into a seething volcanic rush scarcely kept under control with extreme difficulty as I politely requested an interview with the bank manager whom I had rightly assumed was secreted behind the closed door the teller had visited several seconds before.

After many objections from the patient Bangkok Bank staff members and the security guards who’d been conversing with whoever was behind the closed door… through the closed door, I was eventually ushered into that mystic office where I was confronted with what appeared to the bank manager…… an impeccably dressed gentleman of undetermined age who was just rising from his padded chair to adorn his suit jacket for what he told me was his luncheon break at 9:30 am!

Well, it was around about then that the volcano finally gave way to pressure and violently erupted spewing molten cascades of extremely loud and multi-colored verbal displeasures and abuse to every corner, nook and cranny of the building and which I’m sure would be hard pressed to be rivaled in any waterfront bar on the planet.

The office door suddenly slammed open as a result of what I assume was a silent signal, and with a violent crash which knocked over a vase of plastic flowers, dislodged a picture, a clock and a calendar from the wall, while what I assumed was the manager’s umbrella snapped with a resounding crack when he tripped over it in his hastened step backwards against the wall at my sudden explosive outburst and tirade.

Pattaya’s Bangkok Bank Cleaned Out by Crazed Farang

However when I spun around at the sound, it wasn’t the normal Bangkok Bank’s security force outlined in the doorway I faced, but the full blown might of the law in what I thought at the time was at least 50% of the whole darned Pattaya police force who must have been alerted by security when they realized that something out of the ordinary was about to go down.

On furtively casting my eyes around like a trapped rodent at what had until a few seconds before been a normally crowded bank, I realized the whole bank seemed to have been evacuated by customers, and the staff who had remained seemed to be either white faced and cringing in fear, or warming up for a bit of unscheduled Thai boxing practice with me clearly being lined up as the punching (or kicking) bag.

In the meantime, my forever faithful and devoted girlfriend had vanished without a trace leaving me armed with no more than the spattering of Thai words I’d picked up most of which were mainly in the polite vein with a few endearments thrown in, which left me trying to explain to the police what had happened in words which amounted to thank you please my darling, never mind you lovely, I’m hungry and boom boom tirak.

Now I’m not going to suggest for one moment that the Thais don’t have a sense of humor because they certainly do, but how those police officers were able to keep a straight face through all this astonishes me to this day and it wasn’t until months later I learned that they had all cracked up in fits of laughter after releasing me from custody around 6 hours later.

It’s interesting to note that this story has a happy ending in that the following morning, while accompanied by my girlfriend having become mysteriously unvanished on my release from the soi 7 police station the day before, I went to the Siam Commercial Bank situated just down the street from my previous day’s harrowing experience, where I was able to open a new bank account into which I was able to deposit the cashier’s check I’d received from the Bangkok Bank in Soi 3 and all for a grand total outlay of 300 baht!
Needless to say, I’ve never done business with the Bangkok Bank again!

Whenever I meet someone for the first time, they start off with a clean slate.  I don’t care about their race, religion or colour; I accept them with no questions asked.  Whether they keep their slate clean is then determined solely by their actions and I apply the same rules to all.  Secondly, being Australian I tend to speak my mind, joke or kid around and occasionally tease people with no malice intended.  I don’t care if some people were born so serious they find this behaviour totally politically incorrect.

For example, an American friend and I got into a discussion one night about English spelling.  I explained my theory that Americans have an aversion to the letter ‘u’, removing it from every word they can while mispronouncing it in words they can’t.  ‘Neighbour’ becomes ‘neighbor’, ‘colour’ becomes ‘color’ and they pronounce the word ‘stupid’ as if it was spelled ‘stoopid’.  Since that night, every time I send him an e-mail I first draft it in MS Word and then delete every ‘u’ in it.  At the top I write: “This e-mail has been modified for American readers to reflect their 25-letter alphabet.”  Don’t feel sorry for him because, trust me, he gives back as much as he gets
.
So it came to pass that I was introduced to an expat and we became acquainted over a couple of beers.  Although I had already guessed by his mannerisms, in Bill’s initial conversation he admitted he was gay.  Feigning total ignorance, I answered that I was feeling pretty happy as well although not exactly ‘over the moon’.  Unused to my sense of humour (with a ‘u’) he took the bait and explained that he meant he was homosexual.  He said he is always up front about his sexual persuasion right from the beginning because he doesn’t want any misunderstandings or problems later.  He was giving me the chance to politely leave his company if I had something against homosexuals.

I don’t, and I’ve enjoyed many conversations with him since.  On one significant evening, two other friends and I joined Bill at a beer bar.  As the beer went down far too easily, the conversation turned to homosexuality.  Bill admitted he has always known he was gay, realizing it way back when he was a child.  He then made the remark he believed homosexuality was genetic.  “Hold the phone,” I replied.  “How on earth can it be genetic?”  Bill said he was born gay so it must have been in his genes.
That doesn’t make sense.  If homosexuality was genetic it would go against evolution which broadly states that the genes of both parents join to make the genes of the offspring.  By definition, purely homosexual couples cannot produce children.  Because evolution is a very efficient and clever process designed for the advancement of a species, why would it deliberately develop a gene that could not naturally be passed on?  Even with human intervention, a lesbian artificially inseminated by a gay man would have no guarantee of producing a homosexual child.  And evolution does not rely upon human intervention – it does a pretty good job without our help.

As interesting as that discussion was, we moved on.  Someone then jokingly said we should attempt to convert Bill to heterosexuality.  I took up the gag by saying I had already purchased a 12-volt battery and knew someone with a set of jumper leads.  Then someone suggested we take him out one night to a Go Go Bar and let the Pattaya girls weave their magic.  To my surprise, Bill thought that was a great idea, but he had one condition.  For every girly Go Go Bar we took him to, he would take us to a boy Go Go Bar.  There was silence for a moment, then mother alcohol took control and we set a date for our night on the town.

We met at an agreed bar for a medicinal warm up before heading to a Go Go Bar three of us knew well.  This bar is always a full-on party and offers no pretence of being artistic or cultural.  Showgirls, nudity and fraternisation abound.  Within seconds of ordering our drinks, the four of us had a girl on our laps.  In Bill’s case, he appeared decidedly uncomfortable.  After finishing our second drink, we checked bin and emerged into the night to follow the unconverted Bill to his favourite boy Go Go Bar.

I don’t think the word ‘apprehensive’ really covers it but the three of us were sweating considerably when we walked beneath the awning and through the curtains into the bar.  Bill laughed as we quickly headed to a far, well-lit corner of the room and sat so close together we were almost on each other’s lap.  What happened during the next thirty-two minutes and fifteen seconds is censored.  Let’s just say I was visibly overwhelmed by a feeling of inadequacy.  Then it was generally agreed (by a vote of three to one) we should move on, so we paid our bin.  Just at that moment the building shook with the sound of a tremendous explosion coming from outside.  To me it sounded like a car had crashed into the front of the building.  Panic ensued as young men everywhere grappled to get their clothing on.  The music stopped, the house lights came on, and customers and staff rushed to the front curtains to see what the commotion was all about.

It took some time but we eventually forced our way out the door to witness a scene of devastation.  The cantilevered awning above the entrance had collapsed onto the pavement.  Fortunately, a quick survey showed no bodies beneath the rubble; only a couple of the doormen nursing shock and grazed limbs.  People from everywhere had massed around the debris which I remember thinking was not a good idea in case some more of the building decided to follow the awning to the pavement.  That being the case, the four of us stood right under the illuminated doorway trying to decide the best method of escape.  A local television news crew appeared on the scene and set up their video equipment.  One of them became a little impatient and decided to take some still photos of the wreckage.  I was looking directly at his camera when the flash went off.  Then another flash … and another.

Some things in life I don’t understand.  There was not a policeman in sight; there was not an ambulance man or paramedic in sight; yet a fully-equipped film crew was there within seconds.  And one of them now had a nice set of prints showing the four of us standing like stunned mullet in the doorway of a boy Go Go Bar.

For the next week I scoured every newspaper to see if any photos appeared.  I also checked local news channels and the Internet.  There were reports, but the video footage and photos shown were taken after we had gone; coincidentally or conveniently, once the police and paramedics had arrived at the scene.  I was not ashamed of being there as such, but it would take a lot of explaining should some of my mates see a photo of me outside a boy bar.  Even though it was a night to remember, we came to a gentlemen’s agreement with Bill.  We would stop trying to convert him, and he would never speak of the incident again.