A collage of Jokes and Wisdom from the Internet compiled over many years by Money Number One man Neil Hutchison


It has been said that the Internet is primarily for the transmission of porn and jokes, while everything else is only there to justify its existence.With the amount of gags and jokes I have been sent over the years, I am
beginning to think that is true. (Notice I didn’t mention the amount of
porn I’ve been sent.)


Welcome to the world of humour. What makes human beings laugh
can be broadly defined under three headings: someone else’s misfortune,
someone else’s misunderstanding or someone else’s stupidity. The key
words here are “someone else’s” because, let’s face it, most things are
much funnier when they happen to someone else.


I think the psychology behind it is that each of us has an inherent
inferiority complex so, when we see or hear of someone else stuffing up,
it levels the playing field somewhat. It pleases us to say to ourselves,
“Well, at least I am smarter than that.”


Most human beings also possess the ‘tall poppy syndrome’ whereby
we love to see the powerful, rich or famous take a fall. Nothing funnier
than a politician caught with his pants down. Except perhaps a priest
caught with his down. We make fun of politics and religion in order to
knock the politicians off their pedestals and church leaders out of their
pulpits and bring them down to our own level. To humanize them, if you
like, or, in the funniest cases, dehumanize them.


Almost all jokes are either sexist, racist, ageist or based on a stereotypical
assessment of some group of people. When someone says, “Did you hear
about the blonde who …”, your mind immediately recognises the joke
will be about a blonde woman doing or saying something stupid and you
begin to smile. Are all blonde women stupid? Of course not. But such a
stereotype has arisen about that particular hair colour that our language
subconsciously equates being blonde with being less than intelligent. The
same goes for Irish jokes. Not all Irish people are stupid but the moment
you hear someone telling a story about ‘Paddy’ or ‘Mick’, you know it
will include some sort of silliness on their part.


While on the subject, have you noticed that when someone says they
have a blonde joke, it is almost always about a female blonde. Nearly all
‘blonde jokes’ can be transformed into ‘Irish jokes’ simply by changing
just a few words, however Irish jokes are almost always about Irish men–
Paddy, Mick etc. Isn’t it a strange presumption that blonde females and
Irish males are the stupid ones? For some reason, Irish females and blonde males just don’t draw as many laughs.

However most of the blonde jokes don’t apply to the girls in Pattaya Thailand simply because they’re not real blondes!

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Not all mothers-in-law are bad, but just the mention of them in
conversation immediately conjures up the mental image of a large,
overbearing, ogre of a woman who hates her son-in-law and whose main
purpose in life seems to be to make him suffer. Scots and Jews are not all
tight with their money, but if you don’t know or accept that stereotype
then the joke would not be as funny. Young boys named Johnny are not
all wisecracking delinquents even though ‘Little Johnny’ has apparently
traumatised many parents and teachers over the years. And finally, all
Muslims are not terrorists, but the last decade has spawned a swathe of
Muslim jokes in which the underlying assumption is that they are.
So, should we stop perpetuating jokes which stereotype? If we did
there would be nothing left and what a sad state of affairs that would be.
Even the few jokes which don’t obviously stereotype are based on some
misunderstanding, misinterpretation or mishap by an individual who is
portrayed as not the brightest candle on the birthday cake. Should such
jokes be banned on the basis of being derogatory?
This planet is in desperate need of humour and if almost all that humour
comes at somebody else’s expense then so be it. People have to learn to
get over it and not take themselves so seriously. With all the insanity
caused by Political Correctness, it comes as a pleasant surprise that the
ubiquitous joke is still making us laugh. Let’s all enjoy it before jokes are
made illegal and the Politically Correct Thought Police begin arresting us
for smiling.
The jokes have been categorized into chapters but many could easily
fit under more than one heading. I have placed them in the category which
seemed most appropriate at the time. Not so surprising is that the largest
chapters turned out to be those having to do with sex and marriage.
According to most of the people sending me jokes, these two subjects are
simply hilarious. And who could disagree?
In transcribing and editing the jokes, readers will find that I have not
bleeped out swear words which I felt added to the punch of the joke.
Many jokes relate real life dialogue and toning it down simply because of
the fear of offending someone with a four-letter word is just ridiculous. A
drunk in a bar talking about his new girlfriend or an ex girlfriend with his
mates is not going to mind his language and hold back the descriptive
expletives.
I hope you enjoy reading this odd collection and, if you find yourself
laughing uncontrollably, remember that laughter is better for you than sex.
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