money number one

Money Number One – Special Updated

2012 Doomsday Edition

money number one

Money Number One Author-Neil Hutchison

Neil Hutchison‘s Money Number One and “The Fool” series of humorous books relate the author’s experiences while living for the past 12 years in Pattaya Thailand. The at most times, hilarious short stories depict some of his own experiences but are well coloured with the often funny and less often tragic stories of other farangs (foreigners) and the antics of the notorious Pattaya Girls Stories
With the introduction of the Money Number One website in 2007, we were restricted to providing our online customers with the then current version of the book which had been edited in 2006 by a dubious character from Chelsea (more one this later) who’s challenge was to edit the book in such a way as to make it “politically correct”. Hence some of the best and funniest stories were omitted for fear of it being banned for bruising the sensitive and delicate feelings of Pattaya bar girls.

Book contains 188 Pages


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For 2012 we’ve re-released the original unbridled and unedited version of Money Number One as a special doomsday edition to coincide with the “End of the World” predictions in order to give our money number one readers something to laugh about as the final setting sun goes down on Pattaya bar girls.

Money Number One 2012 take from Neil Hutchison

Quote: “This edition of Money Number One has dispensed with all the politically correct bullshit. Let’s face it; if those people who predict the year 2012 will be the end of the world – Armageddon, Doomsday, the Apocalypse – are right, then what will it matter if we get a few things off our collective chests before being sent to oblivion? And if we are to go out with a bang, then Pattaya is where you get the best bang for a buck on the planet.
In the years since the Third Edition of money number one was published, there have been a few changes to the Pattaya landscape. The Russian invasion has been the most notable. (‘Russian’, in this sense, includes people from any of the former Soviet Republics, not just from Russia itself.) Russian language signs and Russian restaurants are popping up all over the place. Spot any group of foreign tourists these days and it is close to a good bet they will be Russian. Whether this is a good thing for Pattaya is hard to say. Only time will tell.
Inflation has also hit Pattaya and prices across a whole spectrum of services have risen. The cost of food, accommodation and booze has gone up but the city is still cheaper, in general, than Bangkok and definitely Phuket. In most cases, the prices quoted throughout this money number one book should be considered the minimum.
But the more things change the more they stay the same. The bars are still here. The Pattaya bar girls are still here. Gullible tourists are still here. And the author of Money Number One is still an incredibly sexy man.”

Money Number One….. a Way of Life for Pattaya Bar Girls

While much of what Neil Hutchison writes is a little tongue in cheek, the underlying messages are true in every way as are the stories he writes. When he once asked a number of Thai girls if it was true that money number one for them was really true…they invariably replied that for them, money was not number one and that the farangs they “go with” are number one because they give them the money. However, regardless of who you’re dealing with in Thailand or what you’re bartering for, the money number one serpent will raise it’s golden crown and writhe it’s magic charm around you to come between you and your money making money number one a way of life in the lives of most Thai people.

One story which is well worth reading is about Songran, the annual water fight which is a cultural celebration relating to coming of the wet season needed to help grow the stable crop of rice without which the Thais would not survive

Realistically, the money number one life is not such a bad thing in that, because most things are so cheap in Thailand, the little bit of money you may save by being an obnoxious tourist, could well support a Thai child for a week.

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If you hear the half whispered word “keeniow” behind your back, it’s very likely you’ve not tipped enough or money is more number one to you than it should be. The word basically means stingy or tight and is derogatory. After all, we in the western world are taught at a very young age, the importance of money and are ourselves, steeped in the money number one philosophy and tradition as children.


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