Much has been written about foreign men coming to Southeast Asia and falling in love with local ladies. It is not difficult to understand how a mature age man could lose his heart to a young, attractive female. Neither is it difficult to predict the pitfalls to which such a mismatched relationship could be prone. But it doesn’t do any good to dwell on the negatives. That little optimist inside all of us should be continually looking for the silver lining in every dark cloud. Apart from the obvious, I have learned there is an additional advantage to cohabitating with a young Thai lady.
When I first met her, I discovered my new girlfriend had only one friend in Pattaya; an old, unattractive, mean woman who took an instant dislike to me. Thankfully, her verbal poisoning of my girlfriend against me was short lived once she met some guy who whisked her away to Europe and out of our lives. I hope she’s happy, but good riddance. That left my darling with me as her only friend and, while this was fine for a while, I knew she missed the company of Thai friends her own age.
That’s when I introduced her to Ning, the very attractive girlfriend of one of my good mates. It is difficult to recall whether it was their first meeting or their second, but the two girls hit it off unbelievably quickly. Over the next few months they became more than like sisters; they became inseparable Siamese twins. Now, years later, they often spend three or four hours together then return home and talk for another four hours over the telephone. Thankfully, my darling has one of those telephone deals allowing her free calls between certain hours.
Then we moved house. Our new neighbour was a young, beautiful Thai lady whose farang ‘husband’ was absent for almost nine months of the year. Noy was lovely, with a friendly, bubbly personality to match. She was also lonely, but it didn’t take my tee ruk long to befriend her. Once Noy was introduced to Ning, the three girls became the best of friends, like three peas in a pod. They weren’t from the same province but they had a lot in common. To begin with, they all had farang partners who allowed them plenty of latitude in how they spent their free time, even though for one it was simply by his absence. And they had a lot of free time since none of them were working.
When the inevitable happened and Noy broke up with her neglectful husband, she even stayed with us for a month while she worked out her options. Normally, I don’t appreciate long-term visitors in my home, but for Noy I made an exception. She began by sleeping in the spare bedroom then, for some reason, decided the hard, tiled lounge room floor was more comfortable or convenient. I did actually suggest that the bed in the main bedroom was big enough for three people. Noy and my tee ruk laughed and joked about it, even teasing me by saying Noy could be my ‘mia noi’. Little did they know.
But Noy remained in the lounge, flopping around in her short shorts, her slinky nightdress or silk see-through pajamas. She showered with the bathroom door open, changed clothes in the lounge and slowly drove me crazy. It was a sad day indeed when she packed up all her belongings and left, saying she had found her own accommodation nearby. It was also inconvenient, because my girlfriend began spending a lot of time out with either Ning or Noy. That’s when I intervened by telling my tee ruk that I didn’t like her going out so often because I missed her too much. I carefully explained that her place was in the home, barefoot but definitely not pregnant. (Thank you to all those people who sent me cards and flowers.) When I recovered, I graciously suggested she should entertain her charming friends at our home, adding they were all welcome to come over any time. She agreed that was a good idea and everything was well.
It so happens that Ning had a younger cousin or niece in Pattaya. When she first brought Nut around to my place I was speechless because the word ‘stunning’ doesn’t begin to describe her. Nut did not have a job either. Instead, a procession of suitors took care of her every fanciful need. Surprisingly, her two most recent boyfriends were Thai men, and I was relieved to learn Thai men can be just as silly as foreign men where beautiful women are concerned. Although Nut never did become a permanent member of their tight little group, from time to time she joined the others for meals, gossip and make-up sessions in my living room. These were the days or nights when I made a deliberate effort to stay home.
One such occasion a few weeks ago will be the theme for most of my pleasant dreams to come. My darling arrived home with all her friends in tow and I rushed out to greet them, trying desperately to conceal my excitement. A quick head count revealed there were five girls in total, not the usual four. My tee ruk had brought back a stray poo-ying. And not just any stray. The new addition was introduced to me as Nit, but I don’t think I saw her face in those initial seconds because the micro mini she was wearing rested above the two most beautiful long legs on the planet. While the quintet made themselves comfortable in the lounge, I rushed into the bathroom to apply some aftershave. I came out just as they were heading back out the front door and they didn’t hear my pathetic appeal: “Why? What did I do wrong? Please don’t go.”
As luck would have it, twenty minutes later they all returned, arms laden with plastic bags of food. I watched as they gathered plates, bowls, spoons and forks from my kitchen and spread out the feast over my floor. Here were five gorgeous ladies, only one of whom, being the girlfriend of my mate, was untouchable for moral reasons. Three were untouchable for personal emasculation concerns, but that didn’t stop me looking. Then, one of them invited me to join them. It wouldn’t have mattered if I had just pigged out at a T-bone steak all-you-can-eat buffet and the girls were serving up boiled buffalo dung sandwiches, it was an invitation I could not refuse. It was an invitation from the Gods, or more correctly, the Goddesses.
Many thoughts raced through my mind as I sat cross-legged on that floor pretending to be interested in whatever they were talking about. They must have wondered why I kept smiling as I thought back to ancient Persia and the harems kept by the kings of the time. I pictured my dinner companions all dressed like Barbara Eden in the sitcom I Dream of Jeannie, a television series which ran its course long before any of them were born. I wanted to take a group photo to record the moment forever. Most importantly, I wanted to rush out to find a hardware store and buy a welder. If I could make it back home before they finished eating, I was going to seal all the exits.
Buy “Money Number One 2012 Updated version ” Below.
Buy “A Fool In Paradise” Below
Buy “The Fool is Back” Below
Buy “A Fools Diary” Below
Note: All books purchased from this site are delivered in PDF (digital format) only