A Short Biography of Money Number
One Man, Neil Hutchison.
I think everyone has an imaginary visualization of someone they’ve either spoken to on the phone or heard about which in 99% of cases turns out completely wrong and this was the case when I first met Neil Hutchison.
I had purchased and read all the Neil Hutchison books prior to our meeting in Pattaya Thailand and was curious as to learn what sort of a person could write such humorous stories and so, set out on a quest to track him down.
It wasn’t as difficult as I had imagined because one of the owners of a popular Aussie bar I got chatting to one night aptly named “The Boxing Roo Bar” on third road, happened to be a mate of Neil’s, and halfway through my eighth or fourteenth beer while amicably chatting about Neil Hutchison, he looked up and said “Here is is now”.
True to the lore, Neil Hutchison looked nothing like I expected him to and on turning around saw a jovial looking gentleman of average height and of rather stout proportions approaching us while desperately trying to wheedle his way through the four or five giggling Thai bar girls who seemed to have glued themselves to various parts of Neil’s generous size body while he was valiantly tying to unglue them without actually causing them any physical harm.
Neil Hutchison from Bachelor of Science
to Money Number One
The following is his story:
Born of poor but humble parents in the former British colony of Australia, Neil Hutchison spent his early years trudging barefoot through six miles of crocodile-infested wasteland getting to and from school every day. There was another school right next door to his humble home but his parents decided the exercise would do him good.
Eventually he was sent to board at an all-boys Grammar School, which kind of explains his adult infatuation with women. Following that, it became a long slog at Queensland University to be rewarded with a Bachelor of Science degree in chemistry. That was the mid nineteen-seventies, the time of sex, drugs, Rock’n Roll and a fashion statement that will hopefully never be repeated. Neil missed out on the sex, avoided almost all the drugs, loved Rock’n Roll and became the fashion guru of flared trousers and wide psychedelic neckties.
I remember when Meatloaf’s Bat Out Of Hell album came out. I played it at my 21st birthday party and knew all the moves to Time Warp.
Pathetic, isn’t it?
Neil Hutchison’s early adult life was unremarkable, and it just went downhill from there. Careers were wide, varied and had nothing to do with chemistry.
Getting that degree turned out to be a total waste of time, except for the fun I had at uni.
His marriage began well and produced three wonderful children but, after ten years, the union began to disintegrate. Fearing total nuclear meltdown, he did what he was destined
to do; he ran away.
He spent a year living in Hong Kong before moving to Manila, in The Philippines, where he spent a further two years learning the tricks and secrets of the poor, huddled masses.
Neil concurred with Dwight D Eisenhower, who served as chief military aide to General Douglas MacArthur in the Philippines from 1935 to 1939, and later wrote that he, learned to expect a maximum of promise and a minimum of performance from Filipinos.
It wasn’t until after he hit rock bottom, standing alone in the pouring rain on a congested Manila street trying to avoid the attention of homicidal jeepney drivers, that fortune smiled and led him to Thailand. Soon after arriving in Bangkok and being informed by his good friend, host and guide that they were going to Pattaya, Neil uttered those immortal words, “Where’s that?”
Neil Hutchison Discovers Pattaya.
In Pattaya, Neil Hutchison found the most interesting people, the best food and the most beautiful women he had ever seen. He posed the standard questions: How long has this been going on? and Why wasn’t I told about this place? He quickly fell in love with a local working lass and saved her from a life of immorality. Or so he thought. When he eventually confronted her with being less than forthright with him, she reacted to his
anger with a smile and the words that still reverberate in his ears today: Money Number One!
He began taking notes of his experiences and listening to the tales and advice of others. What followed was a long, slow and sometimes costly learning experience which, even after a decade, is still a work in progress. He found an Australian publisher willing to take a chance on publishing his advice, tips and anecdotes collated into a book bearing the message his first girlfriend had burned into his brain.”Money Number One in Thailand Neil”
For Neil Hutchison, every day spent in Pattaya held the opportunity for a new experience or new lesson to learn how to make money in Thailand and more stories soon followed.
With eventually enough material for a second book, it was published under the title that epitomized the way Neil saw himself: “A Fool in Paradise“. And for Neil Hutchison, the rest as they say, is history.